A Lesson in Loss
(a 3
minute read)
I was
frantic in the final stages of preparing Tia’s elaborate recipe for Shrimp and
Grits for our Christmas feast when, from the kitchen, I heard
the sound of breaking glass in the living room that briefly silenced my
three adult children, their spouses, and my three grandchildren who were
witness to the event.
Several
voices informed me, “It’s OK. Nobody’s hurt. We’ll clean up. You just finish
what you’re doing.”
I stayed in
the kitchen. When the chatter resumed, I overheard Phillip attempt to break the
tension by quoting Tia, “That’s why we can’t have anything nice.” Mary Helen
scurried to the scene of the tragedy with a broom and dustpan. My family
shielded me from the scene, probably fearful of an outburst of emotion when I
learned which of my treasured items had met its demise.
A little
while later it was revealed that Soaring Spirit was the victim. It had occupied
its own display stand that I thought was sufficiently out of the traffic flow.
Alas, Alicia had accidentally toppled it when she passed by.
Soaring
Spirit is a favorite sculpture that holds special meaning for me. I found it on
a cluttered shelf in an antique store in Tifton, Georgia in 2022. The base was
covered by felt which may have obscured the artist’s name, but I suspect this
piece had been mass produced. Worth to me far more
than the $20 I paid for it, I cherished this delicate
pure white graceful form with simple curves and extended elongated wings. I
imagined this bird struggling to maintain balance in the face of strong
unpredictable gusts of wind.
When my dear
friend “Dusty” Dave Whisnant was informed that his life would be cut short by
prostate cancer, Parkinsonism, and glioblastoma, I sat with Dusty and his wife
Linda in their living room. As I removed Soaring Spirit from her wrappings, I
spoke of how Dusty had shared his love of sculpture with me during our numerous
trips to galleries and museums. I wanted to provide the two of them with some
comfort in Dusty’s remaining days. I told them I’d like to loan my beloved
Soaring Spirit to them as a reminder of our friendship. I held up the
sculpture, pointing out the symbolism as I saw it: that life sometimes imposes
unforeseen disturbances that challenge our sense of balance. Even so, there is
beauty in the struggle. Although I had rehearsed my little oration, I found it
difficult to speak. Tears welled in our eyes.
Dusty and
Linda placed Soaring Spiriting on a shelf where it was always visible from
Dusty’s hospital bed right up until his passing in August 2023.
Shortly
thereafter, Linda returned Soaring Spirit to me, knowing how much I adored this
simple piece. It has since occupied a conspicuous place near my favorite chair.
Now,
suddenly, Soaring Spirit was shattered. Of course I was intensely saddened by
this loss, but neither anger nor blame flamed high in me. I was more concerned
with Alicia. I knew that Alicia was very emotional, having been responsible for
breaking something she knew I treasured. I consoled her by explaining that in
sharing Soaring Spirit with Dusty and Linda the three of us created a special
bond as we were reminded of the message of graceful resilience. Soaring Spirit
had served a noble purpose. Even though she was no longer with us in whole
physical form, we will for the rest of our lives have precious memories of her.
Christmas
2024 marked the 10th anniversary of the passing of Tia (December 18, 2014.) We
mourn our loss, yet our sadness and grief are tempered when we realize the
importance of being grateful for the precious years we
had with her and the immense love, comfort and inspiration she brought to us
and many others. Tia, a soaring spirit for eternity!
Amen,
GR Davis
26 December 2024
